Sometimes life gets into directions we never intend, and we lose sight of things that we used to do for fun and amusement.  I enjoyed being an author, being out talking about my books, being at tables talking about how to be an author, encouraging others to live their dream.  Somewhere along the way, it became about the things that you can't work to make happen.  I can't make people buy it, I can't force sales.  Then I put it all away.  A couple of times if I'm honest.  But now, with life changing once again, and a pandemic raging across the world (Get vaccinated, the life you save might be your own), I find myself wanting to do more, be more, and my writing is one way to do that.
Born in Scotland, we celebrate the old tradition of Hogmanay, the Scot way of bringing in the New Year. A party for the incoming new year, part of the tradition is that of a "first footer".  This person, tall, dark and handsome, is the first across the threshold in the new year, and it's suppsoed to bring luck, food and prosperity to the house.  I've been blessed to be the first footer for my family for over 30 years.  As I stand out in the cold, awaiting the bells to chime the changing of the years, I think about the new year, my role in it, and how I should change to be better.  To be more than I was last year.  This year, a cold turbulent time, I took a resolution to restart my writing, restart my game making (www.mostlynormalgames.com)  and update all my websites regularly.  
That's another week in the "done it" column, I've been updating all my other sites, and now I'm going to clean up the office featured on the back of "Fortress of Angels" so I can get my editing work started.
Just a reminder that dreams don't come true, dreams are made true.  So go out, find your dreams, and then work to hunt them down and make them true.
Thanks for reading,
​d

I started out writing not to make money, but to get the stories out of my head, to see where they would end up.  And after six or so of them, I decided, like a lot of authors, to try to turn pro.  This was a blessing and a curse.  I was out there!  People were buying my work, I had sales, I had validation, I had an audience?  Now the need to perform had replaced the joy of just writing, doing it for myself. I had taken a love and turned it into a job.  I rushed the second book out, hoping to catch a demanding audience.  But I pushed the second book too hard, and burned out.  And when it didn't sell like gangbusters, I started to fret.  I compulsively watched my sales, watched and watched, mistakenly considering each sales a judgment on me and my worth as an author.  But that ignores the market.  There is something like a thousand new titles a week on Amazon, probably more.  The signal to noise ratio goes way up and even somebody like Shakespeare would be hard to find today.  Oh yes there are lightning in a bottle writers, (Ready Player One, The Martian come to mind) but other writers have been at it for years and way more than my two titles.  The rational mind knew to play the long game, but the heart likes to beat fast.

The problem is these realizations only come AFTER the soul is wounded from the arrows tipped with the poison of dollars signs. Wounds that take a long time to heal.  I'm not fully wounded, but I have at least pulled out the arrow.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards change.

So I post this as an end.  Not an end to my writing career, but an ending to worrying about being professional.  I'm going back to writing for me.  I'll publish via Mostly Normal Publishing when I think it's good, but that's not going to be my focus.  My focus now, is me. 

And the stories that have to get out of me.
I'll post them here and up on Holimoren.com so you can ride along with me.

Journey to Redemption is now available!!
It's been a long road.  I know I promised it "early" 2015, meaning March, but my awesome editor Susan really worked the red pen, making me beat and shape the story until it was ready to publish.  I can't thank her enough for keeping after me to make sure I didn't have a sophomore slump.  While this book is 60 pages thinner than Fortress, Redemption is more complex, with more point of views and more threads in the tapestry.  

Here is the teaser:
When a flash of an ax in a quiet inn thrusts Dar, apprentice Journeyman, into the midst of an assassination attempt, he becomes the guardian of Drij, a mysterious stranger on a dangerous pilgrimage. Together, he and Drij will journey across Holimoren to a city sought by all who wish to make amends with the Gods—a city known in every language as Redemption. With them will journey people with deeper sorrows, darker secrets, and more horrific memories than all the wars have burned into the man who would dare to guard them. For good or for ill, all who are called to Redemption are changed by the journey.

Dar must learn what coming to Redemption really means—for himself, and the world. For as their wagon grows closer to that holy ground, so too does a legend returning from the distant past.

A legend that is evil beyond this world.

Let me know if you enjoy, hate it, got a good solid meh out of it.  I can only get better if I know how I'm doing.  So please let me know!

Now to figure out if I should keep going on Assault on Bywater, or instead work on a new idea with a fellow writer that takes place between Fortress and Redemption!  Wish me luck!